As the fans of Gliding Serpent know well, last week the Serpent gave Ferrari (and the other F1 teams) three choices for their future. Moreover, the Serpent advised the teams to take the first option... to continue racing in F1 but with a higher cap, and the ability to write their own rules. Well, dear fans of Sports car racing, the teams are now following this wise advise which is clearly evident by their conditional entry submissions. Only Williams failed to listen to the Serpent (edit: team insiders tell me that they did listen, but misunderstood).
Now we must just wait for Bernie and Max's response to my suggestion that they accept the conditional entries (I suggested a few revisions which I will outline at a later date). Although they have not yet responded to my freely donated wisdom, their silence it quite telling.
I hear you cry! "where does this leave us O' great Serpent?" Well dear fans, It leaves us right where I want us! The F1 teams will be in a new strange position: they will be saving money... budgeting. Chaos will reign!
Gone will be the days of plush hotels, silicon trophy wives, blow for breakfast, and clothes made out of 1000$ bills. Panic will spread like wildfire as teams try and figure out what they will do with the millions and millions of saved millions! How will a team be able to win the championship without outspending it's opponents?!?! Not by the skill of drivers, let me tell you! Instead, teams will find new clever ways to outspend their competitors for victory. There will be cutting edge fraudulent accounting, top secret devious development, and passing of bleeding edge racing components in dark alleys. As history has shown us... In the spirit of true racing... rules will be made, and teams will find new ways to break them for victory.
"How does this relate to the ALMS?" you wisely ask. Well, now we must ask ourselves what the ALMS can do do become F1's dark alley. How can the rules of the ALMS be twisted to allow shady F1 teams bathing in cash to develop more high tech gadgets for their cars, wives, and pit crews? Dear ALMS... it is now time to work towards spreading your legs to the purulence that is F1. Do not miss this chance to become F1's back door mistress. Just remember to say no to the prenuptial.
As I have factualized previously, expect a Ferrari prototype in late 2010 with a full season participation in 2011 (with other stinking rich F1 makes in tow)... IF the ALMS is wise enough to listen to my advise.
You are welcome.
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1 comment:
Much appreciated. I feel my wisdom increase with every one of your words that I read.
Ferrari in P1 with 100% live race coverage ... Gliding Serpent brings the Promised Land to the faithful.
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